Hark (ashteth) wrote,
Hark
ashteth

Things Making My Life Worth Living Right Now.

... Even Though it is 'That Time of the Month*' and i am Feeling Grue.



Things That Are So Canon

Title: Pain and Punishment
Author: Serpenscript (over on insanejournal)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters/Pairings: Severus/Neville
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Chosen: genital whipping. Could also be considered 'sex in the workplace'.
Other Warnings: dubious consent/noncon, chan (Neville is 17), interrupted sex, mentions of DE's abusing students
Word Count: 5,300~
Summary/Description: In his role of evil!Deatheater!Headmaster, Snape needs a scapegoat to torment, and clumsy, blundering Neville seems ideal. Only somewhere along the line, their roles seem to reverse.
Author's Notes: I can't tell you how nervous I am about this fic, and it being my first D_D submission. This was also a pairing I've never written before, so I hope I did it justice! HUGE thank you to azurerosa and prettytiedup23 for plot help and hand-holding, and r_grayjoy for a VERY last minute beta and support!


This is. Hella. Kinky.
It is also almost exactly what i've been imagining in my head since i finished 'Deathly Hallows'. Mine is a tad gayer, a tad darker, and involves more Bellatrix Lestrange (but less genital whipping). But otherwise YESYESYES.

But Neville thought his own role was to be a scapegoat; the one to take the fall so the others could get away. Which sucked balls if he was being completely honest, but then no one really asked his opinion, did they? On the other hand, if he thought of who might take up the role if he were to disappear - no, that didn't bear thinking on. He wasn't clever like Luna, or smart like Hermione, or even blindly courageous like Ron. He was only slow, stupid, clumsy Neville - but he'd had a lot of experience in damage control. He knew how to roll with the punches (literally). In his own way, he supposed he'd escaped death almost as often as Harry had, thanks to Uncle Algie.


Title: Gunsel!Wade THIS IS A WORKING TITLE ONLY
Author: mdashes
Fandom: Deadpool
Pairing: Deadpool/others
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Angst, prostitution... and I think that this is probably fetishizing cancer...? D:
Words: 600
Prompt: Wade's referral to himself as a 'gunsel' has put ideas into my head. 'Nessa was a prostitute, yes? So pre-cancer Wade was already hanging out with people of that sort. I was thinking that it wouldn't particularly conflict with canon if post-cancer-pre-Weapon-X!Wade, too ill to continue, er, mercenarying, turned to prostitution to support himself for a bit? Thus I request angsty prostitute!Wade fic, maybe with a bit of movie!Whorepool characterization and quite a lot of oh-noes-I-have-cancer-and-am-a-burden-and-my-life-sucks bitterness.


Yes, Wade refers to himself as a male prostitute in canon (probably more than once, knowing him). Yes, someone took this and ran with it. Yes, the idea of Ryan Reynolds blowing men in dark alleys is Relevant To My Interests.

Really, i'm in love with the idea of him finding out he has the Big C, chucking in the whole gig with Striker** (probably with some half-assed plan to do all the things he said he would and never did) then finding out that hospital bills eat all your cash like a shoal of pissed-up piranha on a two-for-one cow night (and Shady Government AgenciesTM have crappy pension schemes).
So he taps up everyone he knows, but it's not enough, and he's got no useful skills that don't involve hacking things into tiny tiny bits (and the sushi place wants references), and he's sleeping on Nessa's coach and pissing her off to the point at which she shouts something about him earning rent on his back. And bamb prostitution is the answer to all his prayers.
Until a fallen angel by the name of Victor Creed turns up and drags him off to Weapon X (after having his wicked way with him). Actually, Victor probably runs into him (doing recon on the old gang for Striker) and "employs his services" a time or two, smug as a pig in shit like Wade even cares, before telling him about the Weapon X project and how not even the Big C can stand up to a mutant healing factor you can literally bounce rocks off. And Wade volunteers to be the guinea pig because he really really isn't ready to die and then [see end of 'Wolverine' the Movie*** for the rest of this story]




Things That Are Definitely Not Canon, But Who Really Cares?

Two (so far) fics by mresundance chronicling Holmes and Watson as modern-day uni students.
Fandom: Sherlock Holmes 2009
Pairings: Holmes/Watson (eventually)

Modern AUs FTW, am i right? Holmes makes experimental cocktails! Watson blogging! They are banned from the library!

Addendum: Watson is really being too gentle. He means to say that we hated each other's weaselly guts, as the idiom somewhat goes, and wished to piss upon the graves of one another's most sacred ancestors.


Title: Ancient Zombies, Brotherly Love, and Other Strange Tales.
Author: shaenie
Fandom: SGA
Rating: NC17
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Spoilers: Through Season One
Warnings: Um. Zombies. Incest. Sex. In some combination. *facepalms*
Word Count: not quite 10,000
Notes: Thanks go to the usual suspects, cindyjade and fiercelydreamed, for all the usual reasons, and also to pir8fancierfor yet another last minute beta, for she is the awesome. This is a pinch-hit for Sweet Charity for bitter_crimson, which just happened to meet the challenge recquirements. I hope very much that sie enjoyes it, because it's pure crack, but it's made to order crack.
Summary: The title really says it all.


You hear that. THE TITLE SAYS IT ALL! Motherfuckin' Zombies, Brotherfuckin' Love, otherfuckin' Strange Tales! This shit just got real. [/ontd-speak]
Yeah, okay, incest isn't everyone's cup of tea. This is understandable. But even in real life i tend to form my feelings about incest on a case-by-case basis^. In fiction? Ha, bring it.

"Damn," Carson says, and Rodney blinks in surprise. He gives Rodney a quick, almost furtive glance, and then reaches up to tap his radio. "Major Sheppard, can you report to the infirmary please."

"Carson," Rodney says slowly, staring at the screen with dawning horror. "Carson, tell me that doesn't mean what it looks like it means?"

Carson doesn't say anything.

"Carson," Rodney repeats shakily. "Don't make me rend your soul from your body."

"The good news," Carson says uncertainly, "is that I'm nearly one hundred percent certain that the gene therapy is going to be a success."

"I will destroy your life," Rodney warns. "Bathrooms will explode in your vicinity. Showers will always run cold, computers will always run hot, you will never again receive tech support from a single solitary member of the science staff..."

"Rodney, I've never questioned your request for certain... ah," Carson coughs delicately, his face so red it's nearly purple, and seems to have to swallow hard before he continues, "... certain, um, provisions, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to..."

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Rodney screams, and actually reaches to choke the life out of Carson Beckett.

Sheppard arrives just in time to stop him. The fucker.




Things In The Real World

Rosario Dawson's bubbies. More specifically, Rosario Dawson's bubbies in that dress whilst she plays motherfuckin' Persephone!

i totes love Persephone. Totes. She is one of my gods^^.

The actual Percy Jackson film i'm reserving judgement on. i have no respect for Chris Columbus as a director, the giant leap in ages (from 12 to 17) seems like an excuse to show some nubile flesh^^^, Hades is the villian (or, at least, is villian-ish) etc, etc, etc.





*Or 'Surfing the Crimson Tide' (as the Sib calls it), or 'Bright Red Moon Time' (as the Kap calls it when he's out of kidney-punching reach).

**See 'Wolverine' the Movie for details.

***i really liked it. Yeah, Gambit was kinda wank (and it breaks my heart to type that, it really does) but the rest i was more than happy with. And Ryan Reynolds was The Shit. On Toast. With Gravies. Hot Meaty Gravies.

^Mutant babies is the big issue (tiny gene pools are not your friend, just ask a cheetah) but if no-one's having any babies.
Well, then i still feel parent-child is the sign of some MASSIVE mental issues. Sibling-sibling is probably still a sign of issues, but, i dunno, less skeezy serious issues? i always think of that couple in Germany, who regularly go to prison but still want to be together. It's kinda romantic.

^^Religion-wise, i'm one of those dodgy neo-pagans everyone hates. The ones that go shopping for gods. Sorry.
(The current list reads: Persephone, ErisDiscordia, Hestia, Hephestus, Thoth, Mithras.)

^^^Not that i'm against nubile flesh or anything, but i kinda find staying true to character sexier.
Tags: deadpool, films, harry potter, pimpin', plot outline, sga, sherlock holmes
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